Development Guidelines
One of the hard things about being parents is the uncertainty about whether or not a child’s development is normal. Here are some guidelines to help understand young children’s developmental milestones — times to expect certain skills. The most important thing to remember is that there is a wide range for what is normal.
In fact, when you consider any skill — be it tying shoe laces, speaking clearly or riding a two-wheel bike — the age at which most children can master it can vary by as much as four years. Some children can tie a bow at three and some not ’til seven and it’s still normal — just a different pattern of development.
Please keep this in mind as you read this Fact Sheet. These are merely guidelines. What follows are ages at which most children, not all children, learn certain kinds of skills.
Developmental Guidelines
Language and Speech
By two, children begin to put words together. They might use two-word phrases, such as “More milk,” “See Kitty,” “Bye Daddy.”
Over the next few years, they learn more words. They speak in longer sentences. Their speech becomes easy to understand. By the time they are ready to go to school, most of the baby talk is gone. They can say nursery rhymes, sing songs and quote lines from TV commercials.
Movement
Pre-schoolers love to move about.
By two, they are running and climbing. They can go up and down two or three steps without holding on.
By three, they can balance on one foot for a second. Most children are learning to put on and take off some of their clothes, do up zippers and button buttons, if the holes are not too small. They can thread large beads on a shoe lace.
By four, they can hop on one foot, go down stairs without putting two feet on each step. They manage all of the playground equipment, go up and down the slide, swing on the swings and climb the jungle gym.
By five, most children can throw and catch a large ball. They can skip across a room. It’s easy to tell if they are right or left handed. Mainly, they prefer one hand for holding a pencil or using a spoon. They can hold a pencil or crayon well and like to draw pictures. Most like to play with blocks and do puzzles.
Getting to know the world
The pre-school years are full of learning. Children are curious, notice everything and have amazing memories. They learn all about the world around them.
By two or three, they know where things are kept. They know what things belong to them and to other members of the family. They know by name some neighbours and regular visitors to the home.
By three or four, they can answer basic questions about some of the things they did that day. They can tell what they had for breakfast and explain how to make toast.
By five, they know colours. They can tell if it is morning or afternoon. They can name things according to familiar categories. For example, they can name some fruits, vegetables, animals or kinds of musical instruments. They know when their favourite television program comes on and what programs come before and after.
Getting Ready for Reading
By two, most children enjoy looking at picture books. They like to point to the pictures of the things they know. From that time on, they love for adults to read stories and poems out loud. Most pre-schoolers like hearing some stories read over and over again. They like to say some of the words in stories or poems they know.
Some three- and four-year-olds can recite the ABCs or sing the ABC song. Some recognize and can name some of the letters.
By five, most children use their eyes well to recognize shapes. They can name shapes, such as circle, square and triangle. They can play some simple card games. They can follow the story in a comic where the pictures tell the story. They can follow a story on television, though they may not understand all the details or know whether or not what they see is real.
Many five-year-olds can recognize trademarks, logos, cereal packages and makes of cars.
When they go to school, most six- and seven-year-olds catch on to reading fairly quickly. They start to recognize words and learn some of the sounds of the letters.
Getting Ready for Arithmetic
Two- and three-year-olds may be able to tell you how old they are, using number words correctly. They can recite or join in on some counting rhymes, such as “one-two, buckle my shoe”. They notice that two cookies are different from three cookies and will choose the plate with more. They try to count but often use number words in the wrong order: one, two, six.
By three or four, they can say the number words in order from one to 10. They can count correctly a small group of objects — maybe two or three.
Not until five are most children able to count larger groups (up to 10) without mistakes. They understand the meaning of words about quantity, such as more, less, bigger, smaller, altogether. They use words that describe relationships, such as beside, above and inside. They use words that have to do with time: before, after, yesterday, tomorrow, morning, afternoon.
At six and seven, when children begin school and learn to add and subtract, they are able to use their fingers or other counters to help them.
What should I do if my child seems to be late at learning certain skills?
If your child seems to have a slower pattern of development in one or more areas, do not panic! Slower development may just be a family pattern. There really are late bloomers. This may be something to talk over with your family doctor, who will take a closer look at your child and tell you if there is cause for concern and also what you might do about it.
You may be advised to encourage or awaken abilities that are lagging slightly. For example, if your child seems late to talk, you could try talking more to your child and reading stories with greater frequency to encourage his or her use of language. If your child has trouble using a pencil, you can encourage play activities that use eye-hand coordination, such as stringing beads or doing puzzles.
My three-year-old won’t sit still to listen to a story. She climbs down from my lap and wanders around. Is she too young for stories?
Some children need to move, but you should encourage listening just the same. Read for shorter periods — perhaps just a few minutes at a time. Try reading to her for a couple of minutes while she’s in the bathtub. Tell stories as you go for a walk or while pushing her in the swing.
Should I be concerned that grade one is almost over and my seven-year-old doesn’t seem to be learning to read? He can “say” a whole page of a favourite book off by heart, but can’t read any of the words if you point to them. He started out enjoying school but now doesn’t want to go. His teacher says I shouldn’t worry and that lots of children take longer to learn to read. Is his teacher right?
The teacher might be, but you should check it out. Talk it over with the principal and your family doctor. Be sure to mention that your child is not as happy as he used to be. Ask to have him assessed by a psychologist, a special education teacher or a very experienced elementary school teacher. If he has an identified reading problem, see that he gets some special teaching as soon as possible.
Should I worry about my grade-two daughter who reads quickly and accurately, but hates math and can’t remember any number facts? She uses her fingers to count, even for easy sums, such as 3+3. Sometimes she miscounts and gets the wrong answer. Does she have a learning disability?
It’s possible. The important thing is to try some other ways of teaching. Try the following:
- teaching her how to count accurately;
- getting her involved in games and activities that will give practice in learning the number facts;
- and helping her really understand what the numbers stand for.
To count accurately, you have to be careful to match each number with an item to be counted. Parents can model this over and over: count objects, moving each object as it is counted; count the child’s fingers and toes, touching each one as it is counted; count steps when going up or down, counting each one when the right foot lands on it. Some children remember many facts easily. Others need to see, hear and say them many, many times. There are card games, Bingo-like games, board games and dice games that get the players thinking about and figuring out addition and subtraction. There are audio tapes, too, that have number facts in songs or raps. These appeal to some children who are happy to listen to them over and over again.
Children who don’t really seem to “get” what arithmetic is all about may be helped by specially designed mathematical materials, such as blocks or coloured rods, that help them see — without counting — what an addition or a subtraction example stands for. If math really seems to be a special weakness for your child, talk with the teacher and the principal. Ask to have her assessed, so that they can plan the best way to teach her.
Social and Emotional Development
Pre-schoolers have highs and lows. Along with their sweetness, love of play and affection for mummy and daddy, they can be restless, aggressive and stubborn. They say “no” long before and much more often than they say “yes.” They have a strong sense of their own possessions. They are slow to share. They cry loudly and express great grief over the tiniest disappointment. They can have tantrums in public places. Gradually, they become less frantic in their reactions. It is difficult to give milestones for emotional development. Much depends on the temperament they are born with. Some are naturally even-tempered and adaptable.
Some are especially sensitive and easily upset by sounds, smells or the feel of their clothes. Others are upset by changes in routine.
What do you recommend for a five-year-old who won’t sit still during kindergarten story time? Sometimes he hits other children while in class or on the playground. They won’t play with him. Nobody invites him to parties. When we invite someone to our house to play, the two of them can play video games together for a while, but then they usually start to fight. I think it’s because he is too bossy. When he’s home alone with me, there is no problem. How can I get him to act better with other children?
School and social situations may be too demanding for him. Hitting may be his way of handling frustration. Some children really need to be more active than is normally allowed in school. Some children can’t cope with too much stimulation at one time. If there are too many children around, too much noise or too many things to look at, they feel uncomfortable. Some children can only play with one other child for a short period of time before they need time to themselves. They need a watchful adult to judge when it’s time for a snack break or time to end the play session.
If your child is having trouble with the rules at school or trouble making or keeping friends, you need to get some advice. If your child is restless and impulsive, you’ll want to explore whether or not he might have an attention deficit disorder. The pediatrician or family doctor can help find out about that and tell you what to do.
If problems with attention are ruled out, you’ll want to make sure that he is not upset about something at home or school. Is the child coping with change (divorce, new home, new sibling) or with abuse? Does he get enough of your time? Is he overtired because of bus schedules, day-care routines or not enough sleep? Is he watching too much television, especially violent programs? (What is an OK amount for one child may be too much for another.) Are they doing activities in kindergarten for which he isn’t quite ready? Does he have a particularly hard time with other activities that require sitting still?
It may be that he has to get some help in learning how to play with other children, how to take turns, how to share and how to cooperate. Perhaps you and his teacher can work together to begin to teach these skills, one step at a time.
Learning Disabilities Association of Canada
www.ldac-acta.ca
info@ldac-acta.ca